It’s not as if we didn’t know that when you warm up a stew that the scum comes to the top.

OK, the “Arab Spring” was a surprise but we managed to get through the summer pretty quickly and had it back under control by autumn.

Libya was a great success – the biggest cost was the hotel for the bomber crews in Italy – but it was a late booking.

Syria has been a qualified success and would have been sewn-up by now had Cameron not screwed it up in the House of Commons. Miliband was amazed that he had somehow managed to avert the humanitarian bombing we had planned in support of the human heart eating zealots. (more scum)

I like the style of Vicky Nuland, our American cousin, who was dishing biscuits out to the protesters in the Kiev square one minute then proclaiming that the EU should be “fucked,” when they seemed a bit reluctant to get up to speed with sanctions against Russia.

It looks like Billy “fourteen pints” Hague is coming into his own again. With him fronting our response it will give them Ruskies a false sense of security